She celebrated her first Mother’s Day yesterday with her 5-month old son and her husband, Justin Miller. Magnus Hamilton Miller was born back on December 6th, 2012, and the couple did not release the news or a picture until today.

In her blog, she wrote:

“On December 6, 2012 my life was forever changed. I had a baby! Magnus Hamilton Miller was born healthy, hungry and with way more hair than I was expecting after seeing baby pictures of both me and my husband. Needless to say, especially to those of you who have children, the rhythm of my life is way different than the movement and pace before baby. In short, this baby is the boss of me.”

Read the rest of her blog post HERE on her official site.

Magnus Hamilton Miller & Jennifer Nettles.

Congratulations Jennifer and Justin! We wish you all the best with your new family.

Related posts:

1. Sugarland’s Jennifer Nettles Is Pregnant!
2. Jennifer Nettles Shares Red Carpet Experience
3. Win A CMA Christmas Banner Signed By Jennifer Nettles

Couples:

There is no better way to kick this thing off than by discussing the 48th Annual ACM Awards host, Blake Shelton, and his blonde bombshell of a wife, Miranda Lambert. On their own, each of these two artists (whom we here at Keepin’ It Country just adore!) looks sensational. Blake looks absolutely dapper in his gray jacket, black shirt, and charcoal tie, while Miranda’s dress is just the perfect amount of flash to go with her shining personality. However, we believe each forgot to consider his/her own best accessory on the red carpet — each other! Silver and gold = giant no no, unless we are talking jewelry … We girls always make exceptions for jewelry!

If you have eyes, you know that Tim McGraw and Faith Hill are gorgeous and insanely talented. Talk about a couple whose children who hit the DNA lottery!  However, natural beauty and undeniable talent does not always equate to great decisions. This particular ACM orange carpet appearance leaves a bit to be desired. Is Tim wearing a blazer or a fleece hoodie from Aeropostale? Is his shirt a collector’s item from “Saturday Night Fever”? And Faith looks like a flapper who found out she was hitting the orange carpet and decided to show her love for the Miami Dolphins (Fins to the left! Fins to the Right!). Questionable choices aside, these two are still smokin’, regardless of what they pull off the hangers on any given awards show Sunday!

It was really nice of Madame Tussaud’s to donate these wax figures of Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman. Oh wait, it’s really them! Nashville’s favorite Australian duo hit the red carpet at the ACMs looking fabulous. With their matching hairdos and apparent affinity for all things crushed velvet, Nicole and Keith dazzled…and probably sweated up a storm in the Las Vegas dry heat.

The Collaborations:

Rascal Flatts teamed up with cross-genre sensation, Kelly Clarkson, to sing “What Hurts the Most” at the 2006 ACMs. No question about it, the fashion choices (and stellar performance) by this collaboration surely were not hurting on this night! Ladies first — Kelly always kills it when she wears red, and this night was no exception. The plunging front shows some skin, but leaves plenty to the imagination. Kelly looks classy, comfortable, and chic on the red carpet and on the arms of country music’s popular trio. The men of Rascal Flatts look a little bit country, a little bit rock ‘n roll in vests, blazers, and t-shirts, while sporting some chest. Here’s to you, boys! Here’s to you!

Wait, is this a country awards show? Yes, yes it is. And it looks like Jem has returned from the 1980s to investigate whether Janie really does have a gun. Steven Tyler (of Aerosmith … not of American Idol, youngsters) joined Carrie Underwood during the 2011 ACM Awards to entertain country music fans with his unparalleled voice, while Carrie, once again, showed off  her incomparable leg muscles. Steven dons an all-white ensemble, including a long coat, that shows off his rocker side without leaving the country folk thinking he had gone “craaaaazy craaaaazy”. Carrie looks like she grabbed her red star earring, asked Synergy to change her into Jem so she and the Holograms could battle The Mizfits. However, because she is Carrie, and because she is a goddess, she somehow pulls off what looks like Black Swan meets Girl Interrupted flawlessly.

No, really. Is this a country awards show? Also in 2011, Rihanna joined Jennifer Nettles on stage at the ACM Awards, proving once again that different genres are becoming more and more accepting of our favorite music. Let’s start with Rihanna. Unlike Steven Tyler, Rihanna doesn’t quite pull off the all-white look. In fact, with that hairdo, she looks like a Q-Tip that was dipped in iodine (likely to soothe the pain of all of us who had to endure the length of her performance). We love Jennifer Nettles. A lot. And her outfit proves one very important thing to us…She is psychic and was foreshadowing her future as a “Duets” coach. Jennifer clearly was already planning the moment she took the stage with J. Rome to perform “You’re the One That I Want” from “Grease”. On the other hand, if she chose to break into some MC Hammer dancing in those pants, that would not be shocking either.

The Co-Host No More:

We will truly miss Reba hosting this year’s awards show. Reba has become a staple on the ACMs and, while we are excited for her that she has huge projects consuming her time, this installment of the awards will be an adjustment. Reba has had some amazing moments throughout the years, but discussing all of Reba’s awards, successes, and seamless performances is no fun; and we want to have fun! As such, here are some of Reba’s not-so-amazing fashion moments in ACM history.

Thumbs up, Reba? We think not. Bad color, bad fit, bad design. Oh, and the carpet DOES, in fact, match the drapes…

Cheeeeeese! Oh Reba, clearly someone just put a mirror in front of you for the first time right when the photographer was clicking the camera because you look like you’ve just seen a ghost. Or you really need to find the ladies’ room. And thank heavens the pixie do is no more!

We saved the best for last. We rarely render ourselves speechless, but we very well may be at a loss for words here. Considering a blog is meant for words, we will leave it at this:  A picture is worth a thousand of them!

Who will we fall for and who will fall victim to us on the red carpet? Who will carry home the big awards and who will go home simply holding a flask? Whose performances will shine and who will be outshone? Don’t forget to tune in this Sunday, April 7th, at 8:00 p.m. EST on CBS to find out!

Other things to look forward to during this year’s ACMs:

Tim McGraw will perform “Highway Don’t Care” with Taylor Swift and Keith Urban;

Hunter Hayes will world premiere his new single “I Want Crazy” and then be joined later by legendary music icon Stevie Wonder;

Kelly Clarkson will perform “Don’t Rush”;

Brad Paisley, Dierks Bentley and Hunter Hayes will perform together live from ACM Fan Jam;

Country superstar Reba will introduce the George Strait and Garth Brooks performance. As previously announced, Strait and Brooks will perform together for the first time ever to pay tribute to Dick Clark. Each will perform a version of one of their classic hits and then join together for a very special moment;

Jewel will partner with ACM Lifting Lives to perform a live mash-up of her chart-topping hit “Hands” combined with “Fill a Heart,” an original song written by singer-songwriter Tori Kelly. This special musical moment, presented by ConAgra Foods’ Child Hunger Ends Here campaign, will be performed at the 48^thANNUAL ACADEMY OF COUNTRY MUSIC AWARDS FAN JAM.

Related posts:

1. A Recap of our ACM Performance Announcements
2. Jason Aldean, Kenny Chesney, Carrie Underwood & More Added to ACM Awards Performers
3. A Look Back at AMAs Fashion

You probably know that Clive Davis is a huge music mogul (and egomaniac?) who has been credited for many artists’ careers, including  Aretha Franklin, Barry Manilow, Christina Aguilera, Carlos Santana, Jennifer Hudson, and the late great Whitney Houston. Clive has also been credited for his hand in Kelly’s career, before she parted ways after some artistic differences. Kelly, as you very well are aware, won Season 1 of American Idol and was catapulted into fame, never allowing anybody to change her or tell her there was something she could not do. And, not surprisingly at all, Kelly’s hunches have never served her wrong, as she continues to be a hitmaking, album selling, touring, award-winning artist over ten years after we first met her on the Idol stage.

Several artists have spoken out since yesterday when Clive’s memoir was released and Kelly spoke up about his “memories” of their encounters and working relationship. Martina McBride, Jennifer Nettles, and Chely Wright have all declared their membership on Team Kelly. So, we ask you — whose team are you on (Team Kelly or Team Clive) and which musicians have you seen vocalize where their loyalties lie? Help us figure out who will win this celebrity death match! Our money is on our girl, Kelly!

Here are just a few of our fave country celeb tweets:

‏@martinamcbride @kelly_clarkson YOU GO GIRL!!!!! Love it.

@chelywright: I just listened to @Kelly_Clarkson sing the Anthem again.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfu… She’s IT! I believe her account over Clive’s any day

@JenniferNettles: @kelly_clarkson You could sing the phone book and it would be brilliant! Proud of you for speaking your truth. Solidarity sistah!

@LynnAshow (Lynn Anderson)
Team @kelly_clarkson ! “Because of you” was a beautiful song and u continue to compose and use those huge pipes to the top of the charts.

@blairgarner KELLY IS A ROCKSTAR RT @kelly_clarkson: Clive Davis is releasing a memoir and spreading false info about me http://say.ly/GLO5cY7

@leannrimes @blairgarner @kelly_clarkson love this girl!

@chantalkreviaz @kelly_clarkson loving your courage and truth!!! wow…inspired. xx chantal http://marquee.blogs.cnn.com/2013/02/19/dont-mess-with-texas-kelly-clarkson-has-a-few-words-for-clive-davis/ …

And just to be fair, here are some of our faves that support Clive:

And that’s that!

Related posts:

1. Clive Davis responds to Kelly Clarkson’s criticism
2. Kelly Clarkson takes on Clive Davis
3. LISTEN NOW! Kelly Clarkson’s New Single With Vince Gill “Don’t Rush”

This will be the third consecutive year this event has taken place and it is scheduled to air as a special on ABC closer to the holiday season. In addition to the great show that Jennifer and company will put on, the country sensation is encouraging attendees to bring an unwrapped toy to donate to help Nashville-area children in need.

For more on this event, you can visit the Bridgestone Arena’s website.

Related posts:

1. Sugarland Splitting Up?
2. VIDEO: Keith Urban Releases Video For “You Gonna Fly”
3. “CMA Country Christmas” to Air Tonight on ABC at 9/8c!

The induction process is overseen by the Georgia Senate Music Industry Committee and Friends of Georgia Music Festival, Inc. which is a private, non-profit organization whose mission is to nurture the Georgia music community. They also fund the annual scholarship program for students in the state known as the Georgia Music Talent Search.

Congratulations Sugarland!

Related posts:

1. Reba McEntire To Be Inducted Into Hollywood Bowl Of Fame
2. Sugarland Planning Mini Break
3. Michelle Wright To Be Inducted Into Canadian Country Hall of Fame

In the interview, Jennifer said:

“Kristian [Bush] and I are very supportive of each other in that way,” says Nettles. “He’s been off and writing with everybody on the planet, and obviously I don’t have anything on the books right now as far as scheduled to go in, but I hope to be able to do that one day. And we both do actually, so we’ll see.”

Related posts:

1. Sugarland’s Jennifer Nettles Is Pregnant!
2. PHOTOS: Sugarland’s Kristian Bush Joins Canaan Smith at Opry
3. Video Premiere: “Run” – Matt Nathanson Ft. Sugarland

We get a brief recap of the season and then the dancers come out flying faster than they do during the dreaded choreography round on “So You Think You Can Dance.” Oooh, it’s finally happening! We’re getting the duet I’ve dreamed about all season between my future BFF, Jennifer Nettles, and Kelly Clarkson‘s vocal chords of steel. They’re singing “Would I Lie to You?” by the Eurythmics, and although I had hopes for something country (cough “Does He Love You?” cough), beggars can’t be choosers. Not surprisingly, they sound fantastic together, but their outfits definitely leave something to be desired. Fresh off her stint as Carmen San Diego last week, Jennifer is now moonlighting as MC Hammer with a pair of low-crotched baggy and sparkly pants. I know she’s pregnant and all, but I’m thinking she started on the special maternity pants a little too early. Also of note, last week, KC was milking a foot injury and being carried around by male dancers, and tonight she’s hopping around like Tigger on crack. However, she’s traded in her heels for a pair of black Payless-esque flats, and due to this, appears to be a good 4 feet shorter than Jennifer. In fact, at one point, I wonder if Jennifer is going to eat her.

Oh look, there’s our trusty host, Quiznos in a tuxedo to remind us that it’s a “special, special night.” I’m wondering if it’s his prom afterwards. The judges’ bowling alley booths are once again filled with people we forgot existed. There’s Jordan (looking fantastic, I might add) and the girl who butchered “Since U Been Gone” and the girl that never wore pants (still not wearing pants)! Yay, the gang’s all here. Where’s Johnny Gray? Does anyone even remember him?

Since she was John Legend’s last standing amateur, Bridget “Hoop Earrings” Carrington is back to take the stage. She and John perform “Gimme Shelter” by the Rolling Stones and I am frightened by how John’s eyes pop out at one point during this performance. In that moment, he transforms from Fozzie to one of those plaid-pajama-wearing, puppy Peeper Pals. Much like during the competition, Bridget continues to be unremarkable and now we know why America gave her the boot. She looks nearly identical to one of the show’s backup singers, and I think we may have found her future…

My disdain for our next pair was not hidden over the course of the show, so I will try to contain my excitement as Jimmy Neutron and the human incarnation of a Bratz doll, Olivia Chisholm, take the stage. I just think that if people liked her, she wouldn’t have been eliminated. And if people liked Robin, he’d be famous. She’s awkwardly sprawled out on his piano and they are falsetto-ing their way through “Fever.” Would it have been too much to ask for a cheery rendition of the “Growing Pains” theme song? I think not.

Since this show is actually a finale for a competition, it’s time to focus on the Top 3. Super sassy John Glosson is up first, looking much like the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man in a VERY unfortunate shiny jacket. Clearly he and Jennifer shop at the same stores. We get a recap of John’s “journey,” which reminds us that he sang a lot of cheesy ballads and is the one person on the planet with less rhythm than Jennifer. They take the stage and perform a really pretty rendition of “For Good” from Wicked. I know very little about how this song fits into the musical, but I do know that the show is about witches. I really wish Jennifer had painted herself green for this performance. We go to the judges who “ooh” and “ahh” over John once again. Q-bert asks John Legend if he feels emotional tonight and he feigns human emotion. In reality, he’s about as feeling as Olmec on “Legends of the Hidden Temple.”

Jason Farol is up next with Kelly Clarkson, and they’re doing a soulful, smoky version of the Elvis classic “Heartbreak Hotel.” The video montage shows Jason’s growth and Kelly’s makeover. It’s crazy what a little bleach, a boyfriend and a few trips to the gym did for that girl. They sound great together, and we’re finally at a point where Jason seems truly comfortable on stage. It’s kind of sad for him that this show is ending just as he is reaching his stride. The “superstahs” all point out his growth, while Cadoodle makes a terribly awkward joke in which he compares Jason to Tom Cruise. Um, for some reason, I doubt that Jason practices Scientology, jumps on couches or wants to marry Joey Potter.

We cut to our fearless host, Quirky McTuxerton, standing in the audience, surrounded by a biker dude who looks like he hasn’t showered in weeks and a giant cowboy hat. He introduces the next recap and we learn that J. Rome, his mole and Jennifer are singing “Rhythm of the Night” by El DeBarge. I immediately deem it an odd pick until one of my Twitter friends remind me that DeBarge once sang to Punky Brewster (Here’s the Youtube link if you need a good laugh). I’m not going to lie, I can see that Punky & J.Net are kindred spirits, so it makes an ounce of sense. This performance is cheesetastic, complete with Little Ricky impersonators awkwardly banging bongo drums around the stage. Also, at some point during this show, the judging tablets of doom multiplied and each judge now has 2 tablets- that they aren’t using. What is happening on this show?! It doesn’t matter, everyone loves J.Rome.

At this point, the results almost seem like an afterthought, but someone has to win that coveted record deal with Hollywood Records. The 3 J’s join Quailman on stage, and our host is just so excited that I actually wouldn’t be surprised to see him wearing his underwear outside of his pants and a belt on his head. Anyway, he quickly reveals that Jason finished in third place and this competition is now a civil war between both members of Team Jennifer. Clearly, the winner of this show is actually Ms. Nettles.

There is a dramatic pause, some moody music and then it’s revealed that…John Glosson STILL has a wife! Just kidding! J. Rome wins! If this was Nickelodeon “Guts,” he just conquered the confetti and crazy lights of the Aggro Crag faster than all the others. The also-rans and superstars rush the stage, and they all sing “Signed, Sealed, Delivered” like this is an episode of “The Brady Bunch” and they are just one big ol’ happy family. If they wanted a classic cheesetastic song, I would’ve suggested “Friend Forever” by the Zack Attack. (Hey, it wouldn’t be a Duets review without a “Saved By the Bell” reference!)

Unfortunately, I was wrong in predicting that Jason would nab the win on the strength of his adorability and his mentor, but I was also wrong when I predicted that Kelly would win “World Idol” and instead lost to a Norwegian plumber. So, what do I know? J. Rome is the winner of “Duets” and my Thursday night’s just opened up. Clearly, I need a hobby, or for “The Voice” to come back.

Related posts:

1. Review: Duets – Episode 7: And Then There Were Three
2. Review: Duets – Episode 6: And We’re Live!
3. Review: Duets – Episode 5: Cinemeh – Duets Gets 2 Thumbs Down

Based on the recap at the beginning of tonight’s episode, it seems I didn’t miss much last week except for Olivia (finally) getting the boot and Kelly Clarkson wearing a boot. Apparently the amateurs took on standards, or songs no one wants to hear anywhere but an elevator. I yawn just thinking about it.

We’re kicking off this week’s show with a performance from our superstars, singing “Get Ready” by the Temptations. I had no idea that lyrics of this song included “So twiddle dee-dee, twiddle dee-dum.” I guess you learn something new every day. Fozzie is dressed like Fonzie and Jennifer Nettles is rocking quite the large fedora. Robin Thicke‘s hair looks even more ebullient than normal. Must be all that Porsche-crashing he’s been doing lately. Speaking of crashing, Kelly took quite the tumble in concert and is now being carried around by some hot male backup dancers due to a broken foot. Tough life.

The 3 J’s (John, Jason, J.Rome) and Bridget hit the stage to find out their fates. Having taken no lessons from Ryan Seacrest, our host Quesadilla spews out the results like the possessed girl from the Exorcist in that infamous pea-soup-vomit scene. John and Bridget are the bottom 2, and Bridget is eliminated. Apparently, she sang “Unforgettable” last week. Too bad she didn’t make it through this week to sing “Ironic.” Ultimately, to win this show, your name must start with a J.

J. Rome and Carmen San Diego are up first with “Breakeven” by The Script. Although it’s a decent performance, it’s far from J.Rome’s best. Considering that his musical wheelhouse seems to be soul and R&B, this pop-rock track makes little sense. Equally nonsensical: the metallic fringe on his vest. All of the judges praise J. Rome and blahblahblah, it’s obvious who the show’s producers wants to win.

Jason Farol and Kelly Clarkson are up next, taking on Jason’s choice “Me and Mrs. Jones” by Billy Paul, which saved Jason from elimination in a sing off a few weeks prior. They sound great together, but it’s hard to tell if it’s because of Jason or Kelly or the weird sparkly pendant she is wearing around her neck. Unfortunately, they choose to sit on stools while performing. Sue me, but I was hoping for some dance moves a la “the Sprain,” made famous by Screech and Lisa Turtle at The Max. Jennifer loved it, John didn’t and Robin wished it was naughtier. No surprises there.

The Jennifer Nettles show continues with John Glosson. They tackle “The Prayer” by Andrea Bocelli and Celine Dion, and thankfully, Jennifer has lost the fedora. Instead, she has become a country singer, singing Italian Opera. I suddenly feel like I’m in the backwoods of Alabama and my fourth-removed second cousin’s third wife is ordering Manicotti, yet pronouncing it “Monnagutt,” like a Sopranos cast member. Overall, they still sound great together, and I can imagine a CD from John being chock-full of these kinds of ballads that make old ladies (see: Claymates) swoon. When he extends himself into the up tempos, he comes off too cheesy a la Derrick on Full House singing “Yankee Doodle Dandy.”

Although this show is all about the duets, it’s time for some solo performances and J. Rome is up first with Stevie Wonder’s “Signed, Sealed, Delivered.” It’s slick and polished and cruise-shippy and everything you’d expect from him. He’s confident without coming off conceited, but it’s pretty clear that J. Rome thinks he’s got this competition signed, sealed and delivered. We shall see.

John Glosson continues his quest for domination of Adult and Christian Contemporary radio with “Bless the Broken Road” by Rascal Flatts. He may look like Graham Elliott from MasterChef, but he certainly pulls off a convincing Gary LeVox. In fact, he out rascals the Flatts with this performance, causing Jennifer to throw up her arms and proclaim that she “feels like a stage mom!”

Up last is Jason Farol with “Runaway Baby,” by Bruno Mars, and it’s nice to see him tackle a contemporary song. Although he is sometimes drowned out by the music, his swagger and stage presence have grown in leaps and bounds since this show began. He performs the song much like a runaway baby, jumping up on the audience and jogging around the judges.

We go to the superstars for some last comments. Robin was blown away by Jason, John loved Jason’s energy, but would choose to sign J. Rome to a record deal. Jennifer and Kelly both love everyone and are just.so.happy.tonight. I’ll have whatever those two had before this show, and I’m also demanding that they duet next week.

It’s hard to believe that there’s only one week left, and although the prize for winning this show is even blurrier than the Lost Boys’ food during the food fight scene in “Hook,” someone is going to win something! J. Rome is the safe bet, but I’m putting my money on Jason Farol to take the (multicolored and randomly appearing) cake. He’s got the charm and appeal, the underdog story and Kelly Clarkson on his side. Although KC’s endorsement didn’t quite work for Ron Paul, I have a feeling Jason Farol may fare better with the American voters. Only time will tell!

Related posts:

1. Review: Duets – Episode 6: And We’re Live!
2. Review: Duets – Episode 5: Cinemeh – Duets Gets 2 Thumbs Down
3. Review: Duets – Episode 4: Since U Been Terrible

Moving right along, the show begins with something I will nerdily admit that I’ve missed the last few week’s: a performance from the judges. The fab 4 hit the stage to riff their way through George Michael’s “Freedom,” which clearly fits perfectly with the night’s theme, Song of the Millennium. Erm, what? Also, Robin Thicke may have tried to dress like 80′s-style George Michael, but instead, he looks much more like “90210″-style Dylan McKay, ready to break some hearts at West Beverly High. Speaking of West Bev, Kelly Clarkson has transformed from Brenda Walsh into Kelly Taylor between tapings. Well played, KC.

Our always SO EXCITED host, Quetzalcoatl (Google it.) points out how much the superstars have changed, even more than I just did. Since last week’s episode, big things have happened, like Robin Thicke growing a beard. My BFF, Jennifer Nettles announced that she’s having a baby and I took up knitting in the hopes of being able to make some booties in time. Kelly Clarkson somehow found a time machine that transported her back about 7 years to exactly what she looked like in 2005, and John Legend, is still dull. And muppet-like.

Quddus reminds us that Jennifer Nettles is now the only superstar with 2 contestants left. Now that we know she’s pregnant, it’s obvious she’s been singing for two all along. Interestingly enough, her unborn fetus still has more charisma and talent than Robin Thicke.

First up tonight is Jennifer Nettles and John Glosson, who we learn has A WIFE and a wedding design store. And that’s all I’m going to say about that. He’ll be taking on “When You Say You Love Me” by Josh Groban, and once again, he and Jennifer sound great together. However, it’s more of the same, and I think I’d love to hear this song if I was in an elevator or a dentist chair wearing one of those iron vests that protect your organs from radiation damage. Anyway, Johnny G is way more mega-church than Madison Square Garden, and there’s nothing wrong with that. As the song comes to a close, there’s some theatrics and for a split second, I think they might make out. Now I’m just super uncomfortable and find myself trying to decide if John looks more like Slimer or the Stay-Puff Marshmallow Man. I’m thinking the latter.

Next up is Robin Thicke and Olivia “Why the heck are you still on this show?” Chishholm. Seriously, why is Jordan gone and this Beyonce by-product still on my television? If Beyonce was an organic, farm-raised chicken, Olivia would be all the leftover pieces that they grind up into pink slime to make into a school lunch chicken nugget. Robin has chosen one of the best songs of the last few years, and considering that this is a country music blog, I should be excited by his choice of Lady Antebellum‘s “Need You Now.” However, they kill it, and not in a good way. Olivia mentions that this song will show off her strong voice, but instead, it sounds like she’s singing into a tin can. Robin Thicke is certainly no Charles Kelley, except for the fact that they both wear exceptionally tight pants. On certain parts of the song, namely the extended “nows,” Olivia’s sounds like her vocal chords are in a losing battle with a small goat. Now-ow-ow-OW, my ears. The judges try to be nice, but it’s obvious they hated it. I did too.

As we cut to commercial break, I’m wondering if ABC borrowed the superstars’ chairs from that terrible dating show, “The Choice.” Is THAT how Jennifer Nettles got pregnant? Quddus, where do babies come from?

Hitting the stage next are Kelly Clarkson and my TV boyfriend, Jason Farol, taking on Duffy’s “Mercy.” Since the last show, Jason has found some serious swagger, while Kelly found a bottle of peroxide. If she was Miley last week, this week, she is most definitely Hannah Montana. Their performance starts with Jason front and center, hips a-swiveling, while KC takes on backup duties before joining him up front for a full out duet. Together, these two slay the song. I’m not sure where THIS Jason has been hiding the last few weeks, but I’m glad he finally showed up. He picked the right moment to shine and if there were any girls watching tonight between the ages of say 12 and 40, I bet he scored some votes. A tweet from Reba appears on the screen supporting Team Kelly, and I file that under “things not shocking.”

John Legend and Bridget Carrington are up next to take on “Already Go…” I mean, “Halo” by Beyonce. Somewhere, Ryan Tedder is cackling in a stack of money. The way Fozzie sings is totally distracting and someone needs to let him know that he doesn’t need to open his mouth so wide when he sings to prove he’s articulating. Instead, I’m just waiting for him to throw a pie at us or something. Bridget shines here and all of the judges praise her, and for the first time, I’m a Bridget fan.

Last but not least is front-runner J. Rome. He and J. Net will be tackling “Without You” by Usher and David Guetta, or Gwedda if you ask Jennifer. I think that’s a kind of cheese. This video package only reaffirms my desire to be BFFs with Jennifer. This song definitely plays to J. Rome’s strengths and style as an artist, but the performance itself feels like it just lept off the CMT Crossroads stage. J. Rome is smooth and a decent dancer, but Jennifer looks like a marionette who just got her strings cut and found out she can move her arms and legs freely. It’s awkward yet oddly entertaining. The judges love J. Rome once again, and in what must be the utter display of love or an attempt to knock him in the vocal chords, Kelly hurls her sparkly heel at him.

There we have it…the first live episode is a wrap! Although it’s pretty clear who SHOULD go home, it will be interesting to see who actually does. Unfortunately, I wouldn’t be shocked to see John Glosson get the boot. He sang first, was rather forgettable and may fall prey to Jennifer’s fans being forced to split their votes between two contestants. However, I’ll keep my fingers crossed for the chicken nugget, Olivia, to get kicked out of this Happy Meal.

Who did you vote for, and more importantly, whose flame should be extinguished on “Duets” island?

Related posts:

1. Review: Duets – Episode 5: Cinemeh – Duets Gets 2 Thumbs Down
2. Review: Duets – Episode 4: Since U Been Terrible
3. Review: Duets: Third Time’s the Charm

After a brief recap of last week’s “dramatic” show that sent Meleana packing, our very monochromatic host, Quackerjack, tells us, “Tonight, it’s about to go down.” Um, okay. Basically that means this show will be more of the same, with mediocre performances, glimmers of greatness and the worst scoring system since the figure skating event at the 2002 winter Olympics (2 gold medals!). It’s worth noting is that this is the last week of the ominous sing-off and starting next week, America will decide who stays and who goes. Ya know, if anyone is still watching this show by next week…

Anywho, first out of the gate are Jennifer Nettles and John Glosson. Jennifer casually mentions that “aesthetic-wise,” John doesn’t “speak to one of the judges.” I’m not positive, but I think she just called him fugly. They are going to be tackling Celine Dion’s overwrought and overplayed ”My Heart Will Go On.” This song still gets on my nerves, ever since a local radio station would play it for every spot on their nightly countdown when I was in about 7th grade. Shut up Celine, shut up Jack and just let go already. Gosh. Jennifer feels that John should just accept the fromage factor, and he is like a can of Cheeze Whiz squirted atop a log of Velveeta on a dairy farm in Wisconsin. Also, can someone please explain to me why Jennifer is wearing a burgundy velvet pantsuit over a shirt made of tin foil. Tin foil shirts and queso aside, he gets a standing ovation, the judges praise the vocals, and he takes first place.

Jordan’s parents show up to rehearsal, as do Kelly Clarkson‘s curtains in the form of a dress. Her dad tells us that “Since U Been Away” was a very popular song amongst his family. Oh Daddy Pink-Hair, you just butchered the song worse than Meleana did last week. They’ll be tackling the typical-80s power ballad “Take My Breath Away.” I’m immediately hoping we stay true to the original rather than Jessica Simpson’s painfully breathy cover that hit radio in the early-2000′s. The performance is lacking any real oomph and the song doesn’t play well as a duet. Kelly occasionally tossed in some harmonies, but she clearly tries to let Jordan shine, but unfortunately, our pink-haired heroine falls short and barely glistens. Frankly, I’m bored and only find myself wondering how Kelly appears to lose about 10 pounds per episode of this show. Whatever diet she’s on, sign me up! The judges are lukewarm on the performance, and Jordan falls behind John.

Olivia Chisholm faced elimination last week, so Robin and his punny self chose “Stayin’ Alive” for this week’s performance. I immediately find myself praying for irony with this song. Has Robin’s wedding ring always been so giant? Are Olivia’s bangs real? Do the dancers on this show actually enjoy backing up Robin Thicke and his creepy falsetto? All questions aside, for the first time ever, his John Travolta hair makes sense. Despite giving “WTF?” faces throughout the performance, all of the judges give rave reviews and Olivia jumps ahead of Jordan. Frankly, if THAT was Staying Alive, I want to die.

Next up is Mr. Muppet Mumbler, John Legend, and Madame Hoop Earrings, Bridget Carrington, with the Tina Turner classic “What’s Love Got To Do With It.” It’s the best song choice of the night so far, but something about Bridget screams “backup singer” and not “superstar.” I just don’t think she connects well with the audience. She and John have decent chemistry, but if John was Zack Morris, she’d be his Stacey Carosi in comparison Alicia Keys’ Kelly Kapowski. Also, there is something extremely awkward about her pronunciation of “love” in this song. It actually sounds like she’s saying “What’s loaves got to do with it?” The answer to that just might be everything if you’re Katniss and Peeta. The judges all like the performance…blah, blah, blah…She’s in second place.

Man, this show is not holding my attention tonight. I’m honestly more entertained by the commercials, but they bring up SO many questions and feelings. Is Brave about a Scottish Reba McEntire in the Hunger Games?! Who will Emily pick on The Bachelorette and what the heck is The Glass House about?! I wish my name was Sade Baderinwa. Should I be embarrassed by how badly I want to see Magic Mike? Is it really going to be 100 degrees tomorrow? Gosh, I think I have A.D.D.

Oooh shiny object! Oh it’s Jennifer Nettles and her metallic shirt! J. Rome and Jennifer are tackling “I Will Always Love You” by the late, great Whitney Houston. Moment of silence, por favor. Their rehearsal clip is hilarious and my bff, J. Net, offers to help the always apathetic John Legend find some empathy before singing her advice for J. Rome in some weird country-meets-Broadway-meets-cartoon-character voice. I’ve always wondered what a Whitney-Dolly version of this song would sound like, and this is it! All kidding aside, J. Rome knocks this song out of the park. Maybe we should just end the show now, crown him winner and put us all out of our misery. The camera cuts to Kelly, who clearly gives J. Rome the highest score possible on her judging tablet of doom. She may be able to sing, but methinks her generous scoring is unintentionally sabotaging her own contestants. She raises her hand to speak first except she speaks so fast that I have no idea what she says aside from something about her heels, “pffft,” and “I love you.” The other judges praise him as well, and John Legend fake cries, but surprise, surprise, J. Rome is in first place.

My adorable teenybopper crush, Jason is up next. Kelly says what I’ve been saying all along and that’s that if he makes it to the live shows, America will love him. I agree. He’s got something that most of the other contestants (See: Bridget) lack. It’s almost a Bieber-lite vibe. Go Jason go! They’ll be taking on “Come What May” from Moulin Rouge, which is a movie I have never seen. Kelly, on the other hand, admits that she’s seen it 13.5 times, which has clearly affected her brain, as she tells the camera she hopes Jason impresses “Jennifer, John and Paul.” Clearly, she doesn’t know where she is or how she ended up on this train wreck of a show either. I’m glad they chose this song instead of “Lady Marmalade,” because despite his cuteness, I doubt Jason can rock a garter and bustier. They sound good together, but the clear issue is that Kelly overpowers Jason once again. The judges give him a tepid response and he tumbles down the leader board to last place.

Unfortunately, tonight’s acapella showdown is now an awkward civil war between Team Kelly, as Jason and Jordan face off, with one of them advancing to the live shows and the other clamoring to extend their 15 seconds of fame on Twitter. Jason is singing a song called “Momma Knows Best” that I’m unfamiliar with, but for the first time, I agree with Fozzie Legend on Jason’s pronunciation. He’s got a cool tone and rasp, but I cannot understand a dang word he is saying. Jordan then tackles “I’m Telling You I’m Not Going,” which is gutsy due to the grandiosity of the song, but I can respect her telling the judges that she ain’t leaving…If only it were that easy.

Kelly is speechless for the first time ever on this show and practically twitching over the prospect of sending one of her kids home. The other judges praise them both with lots of cheese and clichés before we learn that they have booted our favorite pink-haired contestant. Robin Thicke has a major case of the sadz over this elimination, and Jordan makes the faces of someone I would not want to meet in a dark alley.

Thinking of great movie songs, I just realized I’m disappointed that no one sang “Somewhere Out There” from the Fievel movie. Le sigh. Next week, we’re taking on the songs of the past decade, so I’ve got my fingers crossed for some decent music. However, this is “Duets,” so I shouldn’t get my hopes up. Going into the live shows, J. Rome is clearly the “I’ll Have Another” of this competition. It’s his contest to lose. We shall see…

Related posts:

1. Review: Duets – Episode 4: Since U Been Terrible
2. Review: Duets: Third Time’s the Charm
3. Review: Duets – It Takes Two (Again)