Our first singer of the night is Samuel Mouton, a guy who cooks pizzas and washes dishes in Colorado, but hopefully not at the same time. He looks like a dirty skateboarding, short-haired Shaun White-type, but then opens his mouth and sounds like Bob Marley. It’s an odd disconnect as he sings “Redemption Song,” but Adam is the first to turn around, followed quickly by CeeLo and Christina. It’s an easy choice for Samuel, who joins Team Adam.

Next up is Chris Trousdale, a very pretty boy who was formerly a member of the boy band Dreamstreet. Don’t judge me, but I’m pretty sure I once saw Dreamstreet in concert. Anyway, Chris was basically the JC Chasez to Jesse McCartney’s Justin Timberlake. Unlike JC, however, his voice is surprisingly weak and shaky and we learn that he now works in a Sushi restaurant. Also, for a former boybander, he made a terrible song choice with “Glad You Came” by 2012 boy band, The Wanted. Although none of the judges turn around for Chris, he does get Blake Shelton on stage to “moonwalk” in his cowboy boots. I’m sure that Gif is all over Tumblr by now.

 

Chris and his moonwalking kicked off a string of lackluster performers that also didn’t get the judges to turn. The meh performances lead into a Nigerian refugee named Nelson, who calls himself Nelly’s Echo. There’s some sort of inspirational reasoning behind his name, but yawn, call me jaded at this point. Nelly (Can I call him that?) croons a capable acousticy ”Ain’t No Sunshine”. He’s really good in a Javier Colon type of way, and we know how well that worked out. The judges like him and yada, yada, yada, he joins Team XTina,

The Nashville-based mother-daughter vocal duo, 2Steel Girls, is up next. Although they are only auditioning as a duo, they’re actually a full family band, sorta like a countrified Partridge family, but with a dad. They tackle “Before He Cheats” by Carrie Underwood, which is a bit of an odd combo for a mother and daughter team, but they have good harmonies and power behind their vocals. Wait, why is Christina fanning herself? Clearly her shirt is letting plenty of air in. Anyway, CeeLo and Blake turn practically simultaneously for the 2Steel girls. Blake assures them that he wants to “protect their relationship in a savage, angry world of entertainment.” They pretend it’s a tough decision, but it’s obvious that Team Blake is a no-brainer for the duo. According to Adam, Blake “Jerry Maguired” them. I’d agree, and hey, did you know the human head weighs 8 pounds?

The 2Steel girls going Blake is the beginning of a rough streak for CeeLo. Lisa Scinta & 15-year-old, Marisanne both turn him down for Christina, while Loren Allred is picked up by Adam, despite oompa-loompa CeeLo proclaiming his love for tall women. Okay.

Next, we have Domo, a loud-mouthed, hip hop dancer from the Bronx. She tells us that in China, she’s as big as Lady Gaga. Riiiiiigt. Clearly, she’s also humble as she compares her voice to Mariah, Whitney and Christina. When she hits the stage, she powers through a slow and deliberate version of “Dont Cha” by the Pussycat Dolls and surprisingly, her voice is pretty powerful. She’s showy at times and her voice doesn’t quite live up to her attitude, but she’s a passable Nicole Scherzinger. CeeLo is the first to turn around and is in ALL his glory, but at times, this performance seems more gentleman’s club than “The Voice.” Domo is one of those people who spells her name D to the O to the M to the O, before working the crowd into a “When I say Dah, you say Mo” chant. Uhoh. Adam continues with the one liners and points out that CeeLo is in heat. Yikes.

Finally, we have Nicole Nelson, a self-proclaimed hippie who lives in some sort of artistic commune in an old shoe factory in Vermont. I’d imagine she draws henna tattoos in her spare time, while braiding hair and listening to men with long beards play the drums. She chooses what is arguably the most oversang song on reality TV, Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah.” She sings it beautifully with a bit of her own twist, and all of the judges turn for her.. I have to admit that she looks older than 34, but not in the way Honey Boo Boo’s mom looks older than 32, just in a polished, mature sort of way. She joins Team Adam, and I predict her to be an early favorite this season.

That’s a wrap for night three. We’ll see you next week! Now, about that OTHER singing show…